I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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