Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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