they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
