in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
