we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
