I puked a lego.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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