I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
