also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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