I think i peed on brittanys purse
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
