yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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