"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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