im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
