ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
