a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
