I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
