You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Randomize
