My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
