Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
