Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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