Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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