Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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