those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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