Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
