I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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