So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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