and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
