Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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