I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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