i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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