I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
