Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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