why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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