please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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