How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
