too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
