and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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