oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
