if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
