I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
People in love make me want to vomit
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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