matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
