Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
