I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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