I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
