FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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