I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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