a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
