R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
