the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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