Already got asked if we're dating
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
