why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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