i don't like sucking hair
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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